My local newspaper, the Grantham Journal, had a couple of interesting tales in it, apart from the front page leader, which is all about a one of our local primary school headmasters going off on a jolly boys outing, sorry, a conference that “deliberated for three days on the essential skills for living, learning and working in an era of globalisation.” Oh no, I was right first time – it was a jolly boys outing. This jaunt was held in Mauritius, because the skills essential for life would appear to be exotic beach huts, swimming pools, palm trees, glorious sunshine, and beach babes. Nice work if you can get it, I say. Bring it on.
Inside I read up on the ‘Journal Goes To ..’ section, which is when people go on holiday and take the Grantham Journal with them. Not me. Ryanair baggage limits are so restrictive that by the time I’ve got my razor, toothbrush and multipack of condoms (live in hope), there just isn’t room for an old newspaper as well. Still, some people do take it, and send their picture in afterwards. And this week we had the headline, ‘Couple miss outbreak of swine flu.’ Really? Should have tried harder then.
The final pick of this week’s stories is that a man walked out of Asda with a flat screen TV worth £450, put it in his car and drove off. The local plod leapt into action and caught up with the thief on the way to Nottingham. Later in court, his defence brief said that his client had only gone into Asda for something to eat, but decided steal the Samsung TV for his ill friend waiting in the car. Now, I wish I had friends like that. All get if I’m ill is ‘Get over it,’ or maybe a bag of grapes. So next time a dose of man-flu heads my way, I’ll be expecting a home cinema system at the very least.
After three days of intense deliberating, the strain of the conference was beginning to show.
Inside I read up on the ‘Journal Goes To ..’ section, which is when people go on holiday and take the Grantham Journal with them. Not me. Ryanair baggage limits are so restrictive that by the time I’ve got my razor, toothbrush and multipack of condoms (live in hope), there just isn’t room for an old newspaper as well. Still, some people do take it, and send their picture in afterwards. And this week we had the headline, ‘Couple miss outbreak of swine flu.’ Really? Should have tried harder then.
The final pick of this week’s stories is that a man walked out of Asda with a flat screen TV worth £450, put it in his car and drove off. The local plod leapt into action and caught up with the thief on the way to Nottingham. Later in court, his defence brief said that his client had only gone into Asda for something to eat, but decided steal the Samsung TV for his ill friend waiting in the car. Now, I wish I had friends like that. All get if I’m ill is ‘Get over it,’ or maybe a bag of grapes. So next time a dose of man-flu heads my way, I’ll be expecting a home cinema system at the very least.
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